Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Sage + Mint | May Cocoa Daisy Reveal

This month's Cocoa Daisy kit is here and let me tell you, it is a good one.  I didn't get much time to work on the kits again this month, but for entirely different reasons.  Well, one reason really.  He knows who he is.  Lol.

I really loved this kit.  Shopping the kits this month was a little different and really fun.  Instead of having to commit a big extra add-on purchase, you can add in bits and pieces to supplement the main kit and DITL with what works for you.  I had to have ALL the gold things.  They are just so yummy.  There is a gold paper add-on that a big chunk of scrappy heaven.

Fashion Show // I got out the gold papers right away of course and came up with this.  Nandini and I were trying on some of the Lilly Pulitzer stuff I scored at Target (my part of Austin is thankfully still pretty much in the country so it wasn't as bad here as most places).  I pulled her stuff out, and started chanting "Fashion show, fashion show, fashion show at lunch!"  She totally didn't get the reference, but pretty quickly decided we would be having a fairy lunch after trying to clothes.  Makes sense.  

Bee Happy // Those gold letters from the main kit were just too sumptious not to hoard.  I kinda did the next best thing by using (almost) all of them on one page.  Oh, I should have gotten two packs for sure.


Dream mini book // Nandini and I had a very special mother daughter this month when I took her to Zilker's annual fairy tea party.  It was just the cutest, girliest, most darling thing you can imagine.  I used lots of gold again, can you imagine?  I also grabbed those amaze Crate Paper floral die cuts.  I know they are sold out in a lot of other stores, so I was really happy to snag a pack.  I used them all over the cover and sprinkled a few more throughout the book for continuity.  I like too that the kit offered lots of black and white paper options to balance all the heavy gold.  It paired really well with my pink and green photos from the garden.

The Chat is happening right now and shopping starts in one hour.  Ready, set, go!

Lakshman Update

He is home from the hospital but still on the feeding tube.  Having it in is an adjustment to be sure.  They want us giving him bolus feeds with it four times a day.  This doesn't really work all that well because when he feels it in his stomach he starts to gag and usually throws up at that point.
He did pull it out (on my birthday no less!) and I put it back in after the weekend.  Having to put the tube in myself was something I was really dreading.  Thankfully it went on the first try.  He was so upset and cried so much though that he napped the whole day after.  Poor baby.  

He really did seem to need it though, he lost almost half a pound in the time it had been out and gained it back within a week of the tube feeds starting again.  The doctor was so worried that she said she didn't care if he ate anything by mouth, she wanted him getting everything from the tube for now.  That really scared us.  

Doing all tube feeds doesn't work in reality for him but at least he gained back the weight he lost.  Every little ear infection and fever seems to make his weight drop.  He just can't catch a break.

That tube I put in didn't even last.  He pulled it out in his car seat Sunday night.  We had gone out to dinner and he had behaved so well the whole meal.  I really thought he was going to fall asleep on the way home but instead we found him with this long tube still hanging on to the tape on the side of his face.

Everytime we have to put the tube back in, I worry about something happening.  It going in the wrong place.  Hurting one of his nerves.   Puncturing his stomach.  I worry that having the tube in place makes it easier for more acid to come up into his esophagus after every time he eats.  I worry that it will get infected.  Or cause another fever and ear infection. 

Luckily Avinash and Nandini seem to have adjusted to all this stuff pretty well.  I'd say there were a few days of extra clinginess, especially when we got home, but they have been fine now.  

Even when he has the tube in, they play with him, snuggle in bed, make him laugh.  They taught him how to do a fake sneeze.  It is so funny to hear him fake sneeze with great aplomb and then laugh hysterically at his own joke.  I never knew babies could learn to fake sneeze.  It is just the cutest thing ever.

He has also learned how to climb down the stairs.  Which is good because he learned how to climb over the gate and then would get stuck at the top of the stairs with no way down. 

PS. Thanks for all the love and prayers for our little guy.  The support means a lot, especially just having someone to listen me vent and know they understand. So many of our friends and family have offered to help too; take the kids for extra playdates, or pack lunches, or help with pick up.  I don't know what I would do without them!

Friday, April 17, 2015

We Can't Stop ...

I love this "We Can't Stop...Having Babies" Miley Cyrus parody so much.  I actually had to look up the original after I saw the parody and it makes a lot more sense as a baby/kid song.

"To my girls with the big bump // Growing it over and over again // Remember only God can judge ya'
Can't you see it's we who'll be up all night // Can't you see it's wee who love this life."


I have been an emotional wreck all week since Lakshman got back from the hospital.  We were there for five days and running on adrenaline the whole time.  To say we crashed when we got back home is an understatement.

He was there for failure to thrive and feeding difficulties.  Is there a more chiding, blamey diagnosis possible?  Turns out, yes.

It used to be called maternal deprivation.


That's okay because it is basically putting into words everything I've been feeling.  And what everyone else seems to be thinking too.

I know people want to be helpful.  But it feels like most people seem to think we aren't feeding him.  Or haven't tried.  Or haven't tried sweets or avocado, or whatever food worked for their kid. Their kid. Not mine. (Seriously, I have heard from a lot of people about this. He can't eat mushy stuff!)

Of course, this is completely unfair because so many people have rushed in to be with us and offered to help with the older kids, but when you are already judging yourself so harshly - it's easy to think that everyone else is too.

The mental anguish keeps trickling in.  It was our choice to have a third child.  We already had a boy and girl, one of each is all you need right? Especially when we can't even take care of the baby?  And, at the most basic level - feeding - at that?

I feel like I am fending off CPS when I try telling friends and family about his diagnoses.  Like, "hey, trust us.  He is having problems.  It's not just us.  Really! We love him and take care of him as best as possible." I'm not even sure most of them believe us.

How do I tell everyone that I spend every waking minute with him?  He has been my life for over a year now.

That's why I have this song on repeat right now. I'm his mother.  I have his best interest at heart.  I love him more than you can ever know. I am trying my best.  I am getting him treatment. He is growing, even if he is still failing the growth curve.

We can do what we want, grow who we want, love who we want! 

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

April Cocoa Daisy Reveal | It's 5 o'clock Somewhere

So happy to share my first round of design team work with Cocoa Daisy kits.  These kits were just so much fun to play with.

I just love how springy and fresh this kit feels. I started with a two pager all about our Rodeo Austin visit.  I had so many photos I wanted to include.

Rodeo Austin // When I have a lot of journaling to get down, I find that typing it out is just so much easier and faster.  I love to intersperse the type with embellishments.

Birthday Wish // My favorite part of this kit?  All the fun circle motifs.  Seeing that stamp just inspired me. I interspersed the circles with the transparent embellishments from the kit. 

I love right now // This ampersand is a huge favorite of mine, so I had to make it the focus of a page. I fussy cut some pineapples and added a sprinkle of wooden emojis from the Day in the Life kit.  

Hello Beautiful // I love all the packaging in these kits.  I had to use the hello business card and shipping tag.  I covered the tag in patterned paper.  Instead of doing regular text strips, I did white text on a black background. 

Cards* // And, just because I really did love the packaging (and those gold foil title stickers!) I made an insert for my 2015 Holidays book to hold Nandini's birthday cards.  And there is that ampersand again, stamped this time.  

The kits are open for anyone to purchase today, so go shop before they are gone!  To make sure you always get a chance to get the kits you want and shop early, you can become a subscriber too. 

Here is what I bought and used this month //

They also have extra embellishments in the shop, like those awesome wood veneer emojis. Love!

Thanks for looking through my pages here.  I am so thrilled to be working with the Cocoa Daisy team. 
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